Dos and Don'ts of Church Etiquette

Imagine sitting in church, listening to a sermon that is addressing something you have been wanting to know and the lady behind you answers her phone. You can't hear the pastor, you missed the point, couldn't get the scripture and became totally aggravated! What ever happened to the simple, basic etiquette that people observed for centuries? A few simple dos and don'ts of church etiquette can make church more pleasant for everyone.

• Do dress appropriately. This doesn't mean you must wear high heels and diamonds or suits and ties, but it does mean that short shorts and flip flops should stay home. Typically ladies and girls wear dresses, skirts or dress pants in most churches. In some churches today it is not uncommon to see all types and styles of dressing. Jeans and T-shirts might not only be acceptable, but may be common at a church. However, if it is your first time to visit this church, you may feel more comfortable in a dress casual outfit. That would be slacks and a polo shirt for the fellas and a blouse and skirt for the gals. If the church is actually one which adheres to a more traditional dress code, you will feel less out of place. One note for the ladies is that many churches are air conditioned due to men wearing suit jackets. You may want to take a light sweater for those dresses with straps or short sleeves. A final note on the ladies, cover up the cleavage. It is NOT attractive, it is considered more slutty than sexy here. A simple shrug or sweater is an easy way to make the sundress more appropriate. Be respectful and respectable.
• Do turn off your cell phone. Nothing is more disrespectful to any speaker than to have someone's cell phone ring unless it is when they actually answer it! Make sure it is on silent. In the quiet of church a phone on vibrate can be heard. Texting and talking should be saved for outside of the church. If you are anticipating an emergency call, sit on the aisle near the back and quietly slip outside and answer the call.
• Do take out a crying or screaming child. A sermon can be something which is truly be about life and death. A crying or tantruming child can be a huge distraction. Don't get me wrong, I love children and they can be taught to play quietly during church, but sometimes they have needs that must be addressed immediately. Go address them - in the nursery. Take them out quickly and with as little fuss as possible and when they are calm, bring them back. Everyone loves a child, but they should not be a distraction in church. I have even had to remove a sweet darling little girl (my daughter) because she was playing peekaboo a bit too loudly. It was cute and everyone was smiling, but it wasn't the place for child's play. It was more important that those around us heard the sermon.
• Don't fall asleep in church. If you are that tired, stay home. Better yet, go to bed earlier on Saturday night and it won't be an issue! If you absolutely struggle to stay awake, it is rude to the speaker or pastor. You can make an effort to stay awake by doing small things to keep your mind awake. Sit up straight. Take notes. Wiggle your toes. Chew gum. Consider the principles presented and how they would apply to your life. These keep your mind moving and help to keep sleep at bay.
• Don't talk to your neighbor in church. You may have something important to discuss with the person sitting next to you, but save it for after being dismissed. If it is life and death, then go to church early and talk beforehand. If it isn't......wait. It is rude and inconsiderate to those around you. They have not come to hear your personal business conversations - keep it that way.
• Don't make unnecessary noises. Tear off your check before church. Unwrap your cough drops beforehand. Put the children's snacks into a ziploc bag. Adjust the velcro on your shoes after church. It is the little things that are loud and disruptive. Take a moment and prepare for a respectful and meaningful time.

• Do go to church! It is the most important thing you can do in your life. That is my opinion.
• Don't let all this keep you from going to church! When it comes down to it - this is all lessons on being polite and respectful. They are not requirements for attending any church. If you were to go to a business meeting with Oprah Winfrey, you would want tips for being prepared and how to act. These are the same type of tips. It is a meeting with the Lord. Be prepared, go expecting and be ready for learning life and death decisions. You won't be sorry you went.

Text Copyright 2011 Deborah M. Carey